Tag Archives: comedy

Your secret is out Monty Python

http://www.blabberize.com/. The website itself is well worth a visit to be insulted by a sarcastic Alpaca, but it's fun (and relatively easy) to create your own blabbering picture. Or so they tell you. I've been trying to get through to do it myself but their website is apparently under attack from "TechCrunch":http://www.techcrunch.com/ readers who want to do the same thing I do. If anyone has any luck, let me know how it turns out.

X-rated Illinois Towns

Earlier I eagerly cataloged all of the “X-rated Kentucky Towns”:http://duenos.net/article/280/XRatedKentuckyTowns using “Piddleport.com”:www.piddleport.com, I think it’s time to be fair and detail Illinois’ towns. This time, I plan to include any funny name, but with a focus on perversion since we all know how nice it is to snicker. And the list for IL is: 3 Beaver Creeks and a few Beavervilles, Bush, Hicks Corner (sorry, really struggling here), Kickapoo (thanks Melissa), Licking, Moonshine, Reddick, Roaches, Round Knob, Utopia, Woody, and Yellow Creek. Well, we can all agree that that was a helluva lot more boring than Kentucky’s pervy towns, but at least we now know and can go back to our normal lives. Keep an eye out for more, hopefully it’ll be a lot better.

X-Rated Kentucky Towns

Because deep down we’re all snickering little sixth graders, I figured we could all laugh at the privacy of our computers about cities, towns, and localities in Kentucky that are innuendos. I first heard about Sugartit, KY and thought there might be a story there, but without an official website for the government, newspaper, or really anything on-line, there wasn’t much I could do. I decided to use “Piddleport.com”:http://piddleport.com/index.php to find out places in Kentucky with dirty/laughable names. I’m sure I could’ve made this a bit more extensive had I had the consultation of an 11-year old boy, but we don’t have one on staff here at duenos. Nevertheless, in addition to Sugartit, there’s Beaverlick, two towns called Climax, Dingus, Gays Creek, Goochland & Goochtown (Don’t get those two? Check “here”:http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/gooch), Greasy Creek (I just thought that was funny), Hicksville, Hooker, Hot Spot, Knob Lick, Limp, Mackville, Pleasureville, and Poindexter. There are 49 other states to make us feel like kids again, so sit tight.

Worst web site ever: Watching Grass Grow

That’s right, this site (“Watching-Grass-Grow.com”:http://www.watching-grass-grow.com/) is a dedicated web cam watching some bloke’s yard. The goal? To watch the grass grow, that’s it. The webcam updates every 3 seconds and, well that’s it. I’ve already spent too much time writing about it.

Previously featured inane things:
* “Roomba TV”:http://duenos.net/article/138/RoombaTV, another hard-to-believe-anyone-watches web cam attached to a guys autonomous vacuum robot.

Let's Cornhole 'Em!

My alma mater, the “University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign”:http://www.uiuc.edu, recently removed “Chief Illiniwek”:http://www.uillinois.edu/chief/index.html as its mascot. The appropriateness of The Chief as a mascot has been a hotly contested issue for decades, but at long last Illinois students have a solution to the mascot situation that they can all rally behind.

That solution is Farm Bot.

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Farm Bot represents Illinois’ rich, agricultural tradition and its commitment to excellence in engineering via its unique, “Mega Man-style”:http://img340.imageshack.us/img340/4766/xpw8.jpg corn cannon, Abraham Lincoln hat that shoots fireworks, and jetpack that also pops popcorn. Not convinced? Let Farm Bot come to life in this nine-minute masterpiece!

Nerd Alert!: Finger Boarding

Even if the content of this article may not interest you, it will certainly make you feel way cooler then people who like “fingerboarding”:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fingerskate. There’s a group of dexterous tabletop surfers who use 96 mm (~3.75”) skate boards to use their fingers to perform tricks like grinding, ollies, and…well, do you really even care? These finger freaks have small scale “ramps & parks”:http://www.blackriver-ramps.de/, “DVDs”:http://www.blackriver-ramps.de/, and “dozens of fansites”:http://www.techdeck.com/links/othersites.htm. Scary enough, the infection has spread worldwide to the “US”:http://www.usfbshop.co.nr/, “UK”:http://www.empirefbs.co.uk/arctic/homeindex.htm, and even “Germany”:http://www.berlinwood.com/. If you are a finger-sk8r 4life, you need to re-evaluate yourself, pronto. Try some other hobby like “collecting rubber duckies”:http://duenos.net/article/242/RubberDuckieyouaretheone, “dumpster diving”:http://duenos.net/article/233/BarelyUsedInfoonDumpsterDiving, “ballooning”:http://duenos.net/article/225/InterestedinBallooning, or “finding friends for you pets”:http://duenos.net/article/147/AFriendsterfortheFamilyPet.

Interested in Ballooning?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Balloon_modelling in its full force and am still catching my breath. The leading balloonaholic website, "Balloonhq.com":http://www.balloonhq.com/index.html, provides endless "pictures of balloon art":http://www.balloonhq.com/photos/db/index?CCHK=1, how to balloon instructions "(601 page pdf)":http://www.balloonhq.com/faq/BHQ_Sculpture_Instructions.pdf, "contact info for “balloonatics”":http://www.balloonhq.com/dbindex/, "balloon history":http://www.balloonhq.com/faq/history.html, and a "bunch of other stuff":http://www.balloonhq.com/member/ you probably don’t care about. At the very least, this article has kept you sharp on "(un)pop culture":http://www.balloonhq.com/faq/pop_culture.html.

13 lb Gummy Bear

“$150,000 tuition & 4 years of a college education. His greatest achievement.” That’s the description given for this whopping 13 lb gummy bear cast in an old Animal Crackers container. Check out more pictures “here”:http://homepage.mac.com/vasu42/PhotoAlbum5.html of its awesome creation. Sadly it was one of the many casualties of Hurricane Katrina but this is the finished product:

Power Rangers Finally Explained

Since I am continually spreading the rumor that “Hillary Swank”:http://hilaryswankfan.com/ in the “Reaping”:http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1809233452/info was once the original “Pink Power Ranger”:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pink_Ranger, I was researching for more falsifiable information and stumbled on something much greater. It turns out every episode of the “_Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers_”:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Power_rangers can be described by the following “everyplot”:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Everyplot:

1. Rangers are seen in everyday life with a dispute to resolve.
2. Rangers are attacked by an evil foe’s minions/footsoldiers.
3. Rangers fight minions/footsoldiers.
4. Rangers morph.
5. Rangers defeat the minions/footsoldiers.
6. Evil enemy strengthens the minion and makes minion grow to gigantic proportions, followed by Rangers summoning giant machines known as Zords and/or their combined form, the Megazord.
Optional: Rangers find that their current powers are insufficient to defeat minion and discover a new power, such as a Battlizer armor for the Red Ranger, or a sixth Ranger and/or a new Megazord.
7. Rangers fight and defeat that particular giant minion.
8. Rangers are shown back in everyday life, having learned a life lesson which solves the earlier dispute.

Too bad real life can’t be as comically predictable, except for the whole having to use Zords to fight minions grown to gigantic proportions.
Thanks to “this unfortunate site”:http://grey-albums.diaryland.com/ for the picture.